A Naif in the Forest by Darrell Berger

Wing Tips to Hiking Boots: Musings of a New, Full-Time Poconos Resident 

I think this is the most artistic photograph of a slug I have ever seen, if I do say so myself. This one was found on the second step of our deck, shimmering in contrast to the lichen or mold that perhaps attracted it. 

Almost three inches long, it might be the biggest slug I’ve ever seen. This shows that any kind of weather will be advantageous to some life form. Our soggy spring apparently is a boon to giant slugs. 

The little horn-like things in the lower right are optical tentacles, sort of eyes, that withdraw if the slug is scared, which is probably often, as they are on the food chain of a great many species. They are also occasional pests to humans, when they gather in numbers so large as to threaten crops. They survive by being able to eat almost anything, and occasionally become predators. They are capable of behaving aggressively if challenged in times of food scarcity, though I have a hard time imagining an aggressive slug. 

I can, however, imagine an aspirational one. In fact, I think I have found one. This slug was on the second step of our deck, boldly going where no slug had gone before. That means that it ascended to this position from whatever moist, gooey place it lives, by traveling over a sidewalk and a step. It had to travel vertically and avoid predators.  It risked that there would be sufficient moisture when arriving that it would survive to enjoy the green mold and return to its family to brag forever about the time it traveled high and far from home. It helps that it can travel as easily vertically as horizontally. Slugs are also hermaphrodites, which may or may not be a factor in either their aggressions or aspirations. 

What we will never know is if this journey was intentional or, like so many human adventures, just happened, a consequence of wandering too far from home and luckily returning. A slug’s foot should exceed its slime trail, or what’s a deck step for?