A Naif in the Forest by Darrell Berger

Wing Tips to Hiking Boots: Musings of a New, Full-Time Poconos Resident 

A spider was resting in our bathroom sink last week. The reality was less scary than this photo, which is an extreme close-up. The spider was maybe a half-inch long. As is my way, ill considered as it is, my first impulse was to escort him outside. He clearly did not want to climb upon my piece of paper, and scurried away with surprising speed. 

Considering I have been bitten by a wasp, a bee and three deer ticks this year, I now wondered, after I tried to pick him up, if he were venomous.  A web search for “very small black spider” was unhelpful.  I then exercised my paranoia and searched for “most poisonous spiders” and didn’t see him among that list, either. I concluded that its bite at least was unlikely to be fatal. 

The next day my resident expert in the forest, Richard Paterson, identified this Parson spider, named for its white abdominal markings, said to resemble the cravat of an eighteenth century cleric. It is very common from Nova Scotia to Florida, is found under rocks and logs, though frequently resides in houses. 

It feeds on various common pests as an ambush predator, due to its extreme quickness and agility, which I had already witnessed. Yet it doesn’t gather in such numbers as to itself become a pest. Its bite can be painful but not lethal. It can cause allergic reactions, to which I am very prone. I was lucky he ran away rather than take a bite. They are unlikely to bite unless trapped, though perhaps being alone in a bathroom sink would qualify. They are active year round and live up to two years. A female will produce about three thousand eggs during her life. 

When I returned from the web search to the sink, he was gone. I was more scared now than I was when he was in the sink. With his speed and agility he might be anywhere now! He might be hiding in a bed or a rug or a dog or my sock. We fear what we imagine more than what we see.